dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
