Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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