A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
