So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
