yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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