I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
