At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need to calm my uterus...
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