Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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