My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
did i walk over a car last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
