im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
