hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
