ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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