Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
