No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
