So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
