What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Shame - the story of my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
