Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize