It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You are a genius and a whore.
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