so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
