Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
