I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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