That's when you crack a 10am beer
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
