You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize