on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
