You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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