Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think my vagina is haunted
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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