If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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