ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
