We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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