I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
