meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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