we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we're making bets on your personal life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
