Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
