Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize