Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
