you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
