found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize