So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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