I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize