If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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