i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
