Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
