There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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