Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
