She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
