just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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