I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
