guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
two words...techno handjob
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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