What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
