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just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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