It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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