I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
