her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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