i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize