Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
