Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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