Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
