he puts the penis in happiness.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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