Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
